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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29435373">The Mortifying Idea of Being Known</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/presidenthomewrecker/pseuds/presidenthomewrecker'>presidenthomewrecker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Birthday Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist is Bad at Feelings, Slight pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:41:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29435373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/presidenthomewrecker/pseuds/presidenthomewrecker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Celebrating Jon's birthday was a risky maneuver. Taking him to an <i> amusement park </i> was an even riskier one. But at this point, Martin is pretty much just along for the ride.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood &amp; Sasha James &amp; Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist &amp; Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TMA Valentine's Exchange 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Mortifying Idea of Being Known</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my piece of the TMA Valentine's Day Exchange for DJ! They wanted fluffy jmart/archives gangs, so I hope they enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re pouting.”</p><p>Sasha says it without looking up. And sure, she’s intuitive, but it doesn’t take a psychic to tell that Jon is in a sour, pouty mood.</p><p>“I’m doing nothing of the sort.” Jon retorts, turning his head to pout at Tim instead of Sasha.</p><p>“Come on, why the long face?” Sasha asks. She hands over the park map and her ballpoint pen for Tim to store in the inside pocket of his jacket.</p><p>“Well, if you must know, I told you my birthday in <em>confidence</em>, and I can’t help feeling a little betrayed.”</p><p>“Did you really expect me to carry around the knowledge that your birthday is today and not do anything about it?”</p><p>“Yes! That would’ve been preferred!”</p><p>Sasha rolls her eyes, resting an elbow on his shoulder. Martin still balks at anyone casually putting their hands on Jon, but for some reason, Tim and Sasha are able to get away with it. “Chin up! Doesn’t the Grumpy Gus schtick get tiring after a while?”</p><p>“You’re the only one I know who can be this grumpy at an amusement park,” Tim chimes in. The only reason he hasn’t come in on Jon’s other side is because Martin is in the way.</p><p>Jon scowls, folding his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what you want from me. I agreed to this, didn’t I?”</p><p>Frankly, Martin finds it a miracle that they even got this far. Sure, the car ride helped Jon’s spirits because Tim insisted on playing his favorite songs, all of which were assuredly the worst thing Martin has ever heard, but that didn’t make him any less grumpy.</p><p>But the fact that he didn’t take one look at the towering rollercoasters or the nonstop wave of moving people and immediately turn around to wait in the car? Well, if that’s not a miracle, Martin doesn’t know what is.</p><p>Tim looks to Sasha, sharing a look of mutual exasperation. “‘I don’t know what you want from me,’ he says, scowling in an amusement park on his <em>birthday</em>!”</p><p>“Not very ‘birthday’ of you,” Sasha agrees, folding her arms. Who knew she could look so serious about having fun?</p><p>“Fine,” Jon says, but the strain in his voice highlights just how much he’s going to be digging his heels in later. “You were marking up that map rather roughly. I’m assuming you have a plan?”</p><p>Tim pulls the map out just a peek. “Routed for maximum fun.”</p><p>Jon looks to Martin for help, but Martin can only shrug helplessly. He’s just as along for the ride as Jon is. He still can’t believe he got invited to begin with.</p><p>“I’ll hold you to that,” Jon says, and Tim and Sasha let out a cheer at the closest thing they’ll get to acquiescence.</p><p>Tim and Sasha set the pace. Tim’s height and Sasha’s stride make it easy for them to cut through the crowd, leaving Martin and Jon trailing behind them.</p><p>Martin realizes where they’re going before Jon does. It’s easy to get lost in the throng of people, and Jon’s clearly less accustomed to it than Martin is. The tallest rollercoaster in the park looms overhead, and a wave of nausea immediately rolls over him.</p><p>Martin can pick out the exact moment Jon realizes where they’re going, because he pulls to a sudden, ungraceful stop. “You know what? I think I’ll just wait by the entrance. Someone has to hold the bags, right?”</p><p>All Martin needs is a single peek at the size of that thing—which is even worse now that they’re close to it—to be in the same boat. As terrifying as the thought of being alone with Jon is, he feels much safer facing down the boss he has a crush on than an unrelenting death machine zipping around at mach speeds.</p><p>Martin takes a step back, standing shoulder to shoulder with Jon. “That sounds like a good idea. I’ll stay with Jon so he doesn’t get lonely.”</p><p>Tim scoffs. “Nice try, birthday boy. That’s why we left everything in the car.”</p><p>But Jon doesn’t move to follow. Martin knew it wouldn’t take him long to dig his heels in, but he still didn’t think it’d be so quick. “I appreciate the thought, but this is where I draw the line.”</p><p>“Come on, Jon!” Sasha grins teasingly, waggling her fingers. “<em>Face your fear, make your statement</em>.” She points behind her. “Ride the tall rollercoaster.”</p><p>Jon narrows his eyes as if he’s sizing her up. “You aren’t going to give this up, are you?”</p><p>“One rollercoaster,” she says, like she’s detailing a bargain.</p><p>Jon gives a last lingering glance toward the towering thing and, to Martin’s shock, relents. “Fine, I’ll ride the bloody rollercoaster.”</p><p>Sasha and Tim let out a collective cheer, and for the first time, Martin recognizes them for what they are.</p><p>Agents of chaos.</p><p>“You’re really going to give up that easily?” Martin asks in a half-whisper. He sticks with Jon, a step behind Tim and Sasha.</p><p>“I know when I’m beat.” Jon’s eyes are tired, but also strangely fond?</p><p>Sure, Martin’s the odd one out, the late arrival to the quartet, but he didn’t think he was <em>that</em> out of the loop, to not know that Jon might actually enjoy himself.</p><p>The queue for the ride is a little long, but not unbearably so, and Sasha fills the time by walking Jon and Martin through her controlled route through the park.</p><p>If they hit every rollercoaster around the perimeter of the park, they’ll end up right at some of the slower rides, one of which they can take over towards the prize games.</p><p>“This is putting an awful lot of stock into me wanting to ride more than one of these dreadful things,” Jon comments.</p><p>“You say that like we wouldn’t pack a contingency plan.” With a smirk, Tim pulls a second map out of his jacket pocket. It has significantly fewer markings on it, instead detailing a clear path from the first rollercoaster straight to the lowkey attractions. Across the top in silver sharpie are the words “for Jonny No-Fun.”</p><p>The rollercoaster rows have two seats each, and before Martin can even make a suggestion, Tim and Sasha are piling into the row in front of them.</p><p>Martin swivels his head, giving the biggest, most panicked eyes he can manage, but Tim only gives him a thumbs-up in return. He and Sasha have that scheme-y look in their eyes, like this was a part of their plan all along.</p><p>“Shall we?”</p><p>Martin jumps to see Jon already climbing into the row, his free hand extended in Martin’s direction.</p><p>Martin can feel his face burning. Jon must be able to tell. He must be wondering why Martin looks like he’s about to pass out.</p><p>“Yes. Right.” He takes Jon’s hand. It’s warmer than he thought it would be. He’s not sure why, but he always thought Jon had cold hands. Maybe because he’s always bundled up in sweaters.</p><p>But the touch is brief, even though it feels like it stretches on for minutes. Once Martin has safely set foot in the coaster, Jon retracts his hand and busies himself with figuring out the safety harness.</p><p>“Not a fan of coasters?” Jon asks conversationally.</p><p>“Ah, simply put, this is very nearly the nightmare scenario.”</p><p>“Nearly?”</p><p>“If this thing goes through a tunnel, I am going to pass out.”</p><p>“I never knew you were claustrophobic.”</p><p>“Just a bit. What about you?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and at that point, he may as well commit, albeit a tad less confident. “What’s your nightmare roller coaster?”</p><p>Immediately, Jon’s face goes stony. Martin expects him to declare this line of conversation over or maybe even go so far as to exit the car completely, but after a few moments of uneasy silence, the hard lines on Jon’s face ease up.</p><p>“Something with one of those big animatronic spiders, I think.”</p><p>“Oh, but spiders are so cute! They’re fuzzy and—” Martin cuts himself off, seeing how quickly uneasiness clouds Jon’s features. “Ah, never mind.”</p><p>“Much appreciated.”</p><p>The rollercoaster gently pulls forward, giving the illusion, no matter how brief, that this could be a slow ride. But they’re making a steady ascent toward a huge drop, which only looks even taller now that they’re right in front of it.</p><p>Tim and Sasha chatter excitedly in front of them, and Tim turns to give them another thumbs-up. It feels almost mocking, especially as they reach the top of the hill.</p><p>The coaster lurches, teasing over the apex, hanging there for a split second before flying down as fast as legally allowed.</p><p>Martin lets out a rather unbecoming yell, but the sound is drowned out by a louder, even more unbecoming yell. Something grabs his hand, plucking it off the safety bar like he wasn’t white-knuckling the poor thing and locking it into a bone-crushing grip.</p><p>The rollercoaster dips, giving Martin’s stomach a chance to catch up with the rest of his body, and he finally gets a chance to open his eyes and see what’s got him in a death grip.</p><p>Jon’s holding his hand.</p><p><em>Jon is holding his hand</em>.</p><p>All further thoughts go flying out the back of the coaster. Martin can’t even find it within himself to be terrified anymore.</p><p>He squeezes Jon’s hand, trying to give Jon some gentle reassurance that they’ll both be okay, and Jon squeezes back with twice the ferocity.</p><p>Martin takes in the warmth, the softness of his palm. The skin on either side of his thumbnail is worn. Jon has a bad habit of biting on his thumb when he’s distracted, especially when he’s lost in his reading.</p><p>Jon doesn’t let go for the rest of the coaster. Thankfully, there aren’t any drops as gigantic as the first, but it still has its fair share of loops and twists, all of which Martin would’ve preferred to do without.</p><p>Sasha gives a final whoop as the coaster pulls back to its original starting point, and Tim takes a moment to restyle his hair with his fingers.</p><p>Then, in a flash, the moment is gone. Jon pulls away, rather sheepishly.</p><p>“Apologies, Martin. Didn’t mean to crush your hand.”</p><p>“Ah, no worries!” Martin knows he’s in deep, because he’s already wondering if he could brave a second rollercoaster just for the chance to hold Jon’s hand again.</p><p>“So, what did you think?” Sasha asks as they pile out. The walk away from the terrifying tall coaster should be a relief, but Martin can see another rollercoaster that’s almost as tall as the one they just rode.</p><p>“Absolutely dreadful,” Jon replies.</p><p>“You didn’t have <em>any</em> fun on that?” she pushes, but Tim simply takes out the second map and starts planning their new route.</p><p>“I told you I wouldn’t like it!” Jon argues. They break from the throng of people exiting the ride, only to get swept up in a new current of bodies. “I don’t know what you expected.”</p><p>“Hold up there, boss man!” Tim chirps, hooking a finger in the back of Jon’s collar. He reels Jon in, slinging an arm around his shoulders like it’s the most natural thing in the world.</p><p>Looking at the image before him, Martin can’t help but be reminded of a child hugging a feral cat seconds before it’s about to strike.</p><p>“What do you wanna bet I can get you that top prize up there?” Tim gestures to the ring toss booth in front of them and the wall of prizes behind it. Stuffed animals hang in neat rows, getting progressively larger and fluffier the higher up he looks.</p><p>Jon grimaces, trying to pull away, but Tim’s grip holds firm. “Tim, that’s really not necessary.”</p><p>“So ten quid, then?” Before Jon can even respond, he’s already pulled the note out of his pocket and slapped it on the table.</p><p>The booth worker obligingly hands over a bucket of rings and Jon ducks out from under Tim’s arm. He slots himself comfortably between Martin and Sasha, watching as Tim misses every single ring he tosses.</p><p>“Brilliant, Tim,” Jon deadpans, but there’s a hint of a smile teasing at the corner of his mouth.</p><p>Tim waves him off, pulling out even more money. So much for leaving everything in the car. “That was just the warm-up round.”</p><p>Sasha sighs. “I’m going to get a drink. You boys want anything?”</p><p>Martin and Jon both politely decline, letting Sasha slip away just as Tim runs out of another set of rings.</p><p>“How long do you think he’s going to keep this up?” Martin asks.</p><p>“Until he wins or runs out of money,” Jon answers. “Unless Sasha has the good grace to cut him off at some point.”</p><p>Sasha returns with two lemonades, pushing one into Jon’s hands even though he had said no, but he doesn’t look too upset by it.</p><p>Jon’s about to voice his thanks when Tim’s victory cry has him jumping out of his skin. Sure enough, Tim has finally managed to land some rings.</p><p>“Happy birthday, Jon!” Tim cheers, handing over a fuzzy purple unicorn bigger than his chest.</p><p>“Why, Tim, how did you know?” Jon asks dryly. He’s still wearing that ghost of a half-smile as he tucks the unicorn against his chest.</p><p>“How much money did that cost you?” Sasha asks.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s important,” Tim answers.</p><p>“Hopefully this means there’ll be no more rollercoasters.” Jon mutters, but any bitterness he might be feeling is cancelled out by the grin spreading across his face.</p><p>“Not now that I’m on a roll! Sasha, you want something?”</p><p>“It’s appreciated, Tim, but I’d rather not sit here and watch you burn through your entire paycheck.”</p><p>Tim puts a hand to his chest, scandalized, before setting his sights on Martin. “Martin? I bet I could get you that cow near the top.”</p><p>“No thank you, Tim.”</p><p>Tim heaves a sigh, shaking his head. “No faith, any of you.”</p><p>~</p><p>They spent the rest of the day hitting up the lowkey attractions.</p><p>Martin was so sure Jon would’ve been bored out of his mind, but funnily enough, he seems like he’s enjoying himself much more now that the prospect of rollercoasters is off the table.</p><p>Still, that doesn’t stop Tim from trying. He’s gotten it into his head that they need to try at least one more coaster, because it’ll be so much easier now that Jon and Martin have faced their fears with the first one. Jon shoots down his proposals the second he makes them, so Tim tries appealing to Martin and Sasha instead. He finds no sympathy from Martin, however.</p><p>The unicorn seldom leaves Jon’s arms. Despite how much he grumbles about it, claiming it’s a pain to have to lug around, he makes no effort to get rid of it.</p><p>Martin thought that at least leaving the park would be the end of it—and he’s very pleased to announce Jon put the unicorn in the window seat so he and Martin could sit beside one another—but that was before Tim and Sasha stepped in.</p><p>“I don’t like the way it’s staring at me.” Martin comments, trying to avoid the dead button-eyed stare of the three-foot-tall unicorn sitting across the table from him.</p><p>It’s only now—after Sasha suggested they bring the unicorn into the restaurant with them and Tim in response pulled up an extra chair for their ‘special guest’—that Martin becomes aware of how much they gas each other up.</p><p>He keeps stealing glances at Jon, waiting for the shenanigan Jon decides is too much, but it still has yet to come. Martin wonders if he’s letting things slide on purpose, if the whole concept of celebrating his birthday is more for Tim and Sasha than it is for him.</p><p>As if confirming his silent suspicions, Jon cracks a smile. “It is rather cute, isn’t it?”</p><p>“What are you even going to do with that thing?”</p><p>“I’m not sure, honestly. Put it on my desk? People are always complaining about my attitude. Maybe a fluffy unicorn on my desk will help things.” Jon clears his throat, speaking to an imaginary statement-giver. “Ah, yes, I’m Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, and this is my associate, Fluffy Glittermane.”</p><p>Martin snorts. “You are <em>notably</em> less grumpy—in fact, this is the least grumpy I’ve ever seen you. It should be legally required for you to carry a unicorn with you at all times.”</p><p>“I hardly think that’s because of the unicorn.”</p><p>Martin’s gaze shifts over to Tim and Sasha. Whatever Tim just said has Sasha walking away from the salad bar salad-less.</p><p>“Perhaps Sasha was right,” Jon continues. “The ‘Grumpy Gus schtick’ can get tedious at times.”</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” Martin says softly. “To be honest, when Tim and Sasha suggested this, I was almost positive you’d hate it.”</p><p>“Oh, they were right. I don’t know what they were thinking, taking me to such a loud, crowded place and expecting me to enjoy myself.”</p><p>Martin winces, irritation sparking in him. “You do know how hard you are to read, don’t you?”</p><p>“Pardon?”</p><p>“I have been trying to get a read on you all day and I still cannot tell if you’re miserable or elated.”</p><p>Jon blinks, as if the concept never occurred to him. “I suppose I can make my meaning plainer.” He pauses, trying to put together the proper sentences. “I had fun today, even if this wasn’t my choice of celebration. I… enjoyed the company.” Jon’s pinkie hooks around Martin’s, and only then does Martin realize how close their hands were to begin with. “But yours especially.”</p><p>Martin’s brain short circuits. The only thing he’s capable of responding with is, “I enjoy your company too.” Which he knows is a weak response the second it’s out of his mouth, but Jon doesn’t seem to mind.</p><p>“I can’t remember the last time I did so much walking.” Jon yawns. He leans over, nearly closing the space between him and Martin, but stops at the last second. “Do you mind?”</p><p>“Mind what?” Martin asks, figuring out a second too late. “Oh! Oh yeah. Go ahead.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Jon’s head falls into place against his shoulder, and it feels like time has stopped all over again.</p><p>Jon shifts into Martin’s warmth, and before he can talk himself out of it, Martin puts an arm around his shoulders.</p><p>This is… well, he could get used to this. He just hopes this isn’t some sort of weird fluke that Jon will pretend never happened come Monday. He can’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed when Sasha and Tim take notice, giving him big enthusiastic thumbs-up. They loop around the salad bar one more time, just to give Martin and Jon a few extra seconds.</p><p>“Oh.” Jon lifts his head a little. “This is nice,” he informs Martin.</p><p>A fond smile graces Martin’s lips. “Thank you for letting me know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>heyo so i've got a <a href="http://president-homewrecker.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> you can drop by</p></blockquote></div></div>
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